Random Sexual Deviancy
Quoting Hanover
Your (non random-sexually-deviant) wish is my command.
(Note: Prose is what is mostly desired here not simply random perverse pics or vids unless you can use them in an original way).
There ought to be a thread dedicated to the random and sexually deviant.
Your (non random-sexually-deviant) wish is my command.
(Note: Prose is what is mostly desired here not simply random perverse pics or vids unless you can use them in an original way).
Comments (91)
While pleasuring myself with a reindeer
In the tundra all frozen and austere
Then out popped a beaver
All bloodied but eager
Grinning while tightening his head gear
There ought to be a thread dedicated to the random and sexually deviant.
Rather a jocular Limerick with bestial overtones to be disgusted by than a man who riven by self-repression blindly ejaculates his prejudices over all who stray beyond the boundaries of his petty worldview.
Don't think that we're all like you my friend ;)
This is the random sexual deviancy thread, Agustino, and you are seriously missing the point. The idea is to include in your post some form of random sexual deviancy otherwise you are in the wrong place and should bounce out of here on your presumably large and flexible dildo.
Yes now that I have expressed my disgust with this whole affair, I will be able to peacefully walk out the door, having done my duty, and let you guys be up to whatever you see fit without any further disturbances. I wish you good luck, and hope that you know what to do with it :P
We'll be waiting greased up and ready for you when you change your mind, darling. (L)
If you don't like this then I care not
I touch the numbers
Imagine robot hummers
Because that's what gets me off.
All that + holding hands = sexual deviancy.
And celibacy, too?
I guess every sexual act is sexual deviancy, given that there isn't a sexual norm. But then isn't deviancy defined as contrasting with the norm? So nothing is sexually deviant?
Philosophy!
You are making the mistake of using your brain. That's not what this discussion is for. Just think with your dick and write it out quick. :P
I shall not partake in such vulgarity. Good day, sir!
Lol. You can join Agustino in purgatory then.
Ah, but you misunderstand. I'm a discreet sexual deviant. All bite and no bark. Some of us have class. Unlike that Hanoverian trailer trash.
Discreet eh? Well, as long as the trailer doesn't start to rock, surely with dear Hanover you would share your...
You may have to fight Agustino for them.
I was petting my sweet little feline
As she purred in my lap near my zip line
Her paws kneeded in
So I pushed down her chin
__________________________?
Beautiful.
Having sex with a reindeer only to have a bloody beaver emerge from the reindeer's vagina and then that beaver bracing himself for additional sexual assault. That counts as sexual deviancy. I can arrive at more examples and then we can see if we can locate an underlying principle that distinguishes the deviant from the norm. In the search for essence, I think it's best to use sexual deviance as your object, as opposed to ordinary cups.
And though she stopped breathing I felt fine (?)
And they my wife walked in and I forgot how to rhyme.
That's the way I roll. (Y)
It has a kind of rhyme for which my mind pines.
I corrected the "they" to "then", I'll have to change it back.
Indeed. Your posts should be virgins with the souls of whores. Don't fuck with them.
Deviance x 1000. BAM!
That one actually made me want to check myself in somewhere.
LolOLOLolOLolOlOlOOL
As she purred in my lap near my zip line
Her paws kneeded in
So I pushed down her chin
And she said fucking anchovies again?[quote]
8-)
As she purred in my lap near my zip line
Her paws kneeded in
So I pushed down her chin"
Much to my chagrin as she unsheathed
her claws and tightened her grip
I let a big one rip
Scardy cat fled to the mat.
Thought this voyeur belonged here.
In other news 64 year old man fucks black woman, and it's not even fantasy. (video not available in your location.)
@Baden's sleep program seems to have failed as well, so he seems to be back too!
I think you two can get a night club act started in here!
Why only slightly balding? >:O
Well yes, that's why it's a sexual deviation ;)
a. After defecating, a woman reported that she washed her derriere off with water from the flushed toilet. Not really sexual, but she was wondering whether she could get AIDS that way. I suggested she stop doing that. My sincerest hope was that she neither worked nor ate at any restaurant I had ever or would ever, visit.
b. A guy reported getting off chewing on used tampons. Could he get AIDS that way. This one actually grossed out the staff, who were paid to not be shocked.
c. Some guys were injecting cocaine into their penises. OUCH! So, how well does that work, I asked.
d. One guy reported falling out of a tree while getting a blow job. I suggested he keep at least one foot on the ground at all times.
We were so happy to get these weird calls, because most of the people who called in wanted to know whether they could get AIDS from using a store's fitting room that somebody with AIDS had used. earlier. Yes, if it's at K-Mart, almost certainly. Macy's, not so much.
An intelligent, beautiful woman with a dirty mind that makes you laugh non-stop should be considered a fucking treasure. ;)
Might this video be available in your location? :-}
If you're able to walk out of here afterwards, then we need to up our game.
Then I sliced her in two from the midline.
What's my prize?
As he clucked down below in the kitchen
His beak opened wide
As I stood there and sighed
___________________________?
A taste of the lollipop obviously!
Whose? And what flavour?
When I was a child, Grandpa used to let me lick his lollipop everyday after school. But it had a surprisingly peculiar flavour. Given it's colour, I expected it to taste like strawberry, but it didn't. It tasted more like a salty sardine.
But given its shape you must certainly have expected it to taste like a mushroom no? >:)
As he clucked down below in the kitchen
His beak opened wide
As I stood there and sighed
Something in the plot began to thicken.
How about two? 8-)
3 choices:
1. While she ate my fetus still twitchin.
2. As I raped Baden with a dead pigeon.
3. And buried your mom in her vomit.
#3 invokes the Baden rule requiring typing without thought.
Looks like a small white dick to me.
Assess its size against the pine needles.
>:O Pollock - it's a metaphor for the penis which can flop around just like the pollock does!
Quoting John
I was tricked :’(
I've only come across rather old and decrepit stinkhorns and those not recently.
who dreamt every night of a penis
she said 'what a prick
what a cock, what a dick
it reminds me of me, (my name's penis)'
and this hottie who called himself kevin
we were watching shrek 3
as he reached for my knee
and he whispered 'bush caused nine eleven'
As you know most faggots are thankful
because we have sex by the tank full.
We’d gather to tryst by bright moon light
Gay boys sex max suck fucking all night.
Because the Park Board was up-tightish
At last the dark shadows were banished.
Wherefore now congress we asked, with no dark?
We traipsed down to the Baths for more lewd larks.
Number 2! :D
Quoting Agustino
It's also the surname of a very large penis who got rich by producing overrated works of art made from the combination of consuming paint over a prolonged period and ejaculation.
I concur. (As long as it's a wood pigeon.)
Is Borat right? Do you need a big hram to be a great leader? :-O
No
Mmmmmm...
Wouldn't mind me a piece of that...
Try the penis name generator.
I named my penis Funky Flesh Lord.
Who the hell is Sylvie Meis? >:O
it offended the cops on the force.
Philosophers insisted they hear—
Smutty words make them smirk and leer.
Too bad when cops arrested the steed
he neighed and prudently swallowed his screed.
This reminds me of the bad old joke about the sea captain's new cabin boy.
He came to the sea captain's cabin to learn of his duties. After explaining them, the sea captain indicated the porthole and suggested that the new cabin boy should 'Take a look at the whales of the sea, boy'.
When the cabin boy went over to look out the porthole, the captain came up behind him, whipped down his trousers and jammed his mighty cock right up the cabin boy's arse, upon which the cabin boy let out a terrible groan.
"Don't worry, boy, said the sea captain, it was just a roll of the ship".
" I though it was a roll of lino" said the cabin boy.
Awesome, would be good if it also gruesome, no?
I think I heard about this in the news.
At some point I believe those girls will start peeing on each other and/or him.