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The Doctor

S February 27, 2019 at 18:46 5550 views 14 comments
Hello, I'm the doctor.

"Doctor who?", you ask.

Just the doctor.

No, not [I]that[/I] doctor. I don't travel through time and space. I travel through the internet to slap some sense into folks in need of my services. I analyse your stupid arguments, diagnose what the problem is, and guide you on the right path.

But for this to work, you have to work [i]with[/I] me, not against me. In some cases, the prognosis is hopeful. In others, not so hopeful. And in yet others, it's incurable.

You may consider this my clinic.

So, who's my first patient? :grin:

Comments (14)

Fooloso4 February 27, 2019 at 22:44 #259951
Reply to S

Physician heal thyself. If this is not tongue in cheek what makes you think that you are qualified to guide others on the right path? Are you sure that you are on the right path? Are you sure there is a right path?
praxis February 27, 2019 at 23:13 #259956
I need a consult. Yesterday I received an unexpected token rhyme from Terrapin Station. See:

https://genius.com/The-grateful-dead-terrapin-station-medley-lyrics

What's going on there?
S February 27, 2019 at 23:23 #259960
Quoting Fooloso4
If this is not tongue in cheek...


If a bear does not shit in the woods...
Nils Loc February 27, 2019 at 23:26 #259962
"There is a rock, but no one is there to perceive it, because we all died an hour previously.

Is there a rock? Yes or no?"

What disease causes someone to ask such questions? Or is this a sign of health?



S February 27, 2019 at 23:34 #259964
Quoting Nils Loc
"There is a rock, but no one is there to perceive it, because we all died an hour previously.

Is there a rock? Yes or no?"

What disease causes someone to ask such questions? Or is this a sign of health?


It is a peculiar phenomenon known as thinking like a philosopher. It can be a symptom of ill health. Caution advised. Therapy may be necessary. Prognosis dependent on how far down the rabbit whole one has travelled, and how good one is at getting oneself out of it. Some assistance can be provided, but you must help me to help you. And I must help myself.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Mixed metaphors?
Fooloso4 February 28, 2019 at 01:04 #259977
Quoting S
If a bear did not shit in the woods...


What? You would offer your services?
Galuchat February 28, 2019 at 08:34 #260061
Reply to S
The only people qualified to help you with your problem(s) are those who keep you locked in your room.
I know, I know: you are the Doctor, not the one who needs a Doctor.
Just be grateful for the computer and internet connection.
S February 28, 2019 at 10:38 #260093
Quoting Fooloso4
What? You would offer your services?


Yes, I run a number of successful businesses. How can I help you?
S February 28, 2019 at 10:42 #260095
Quoting Galuchat
The only people qualified to help you with your problem(s) are those who keep you locked in your room.
I know, I know: you are the Doctor, not the one who needs a Doctor.
Just be grateful for the computer and internet connection.


No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. I know this because I'm the doctor. I can leave here any time I want, I just choose not to. The padding is very comfortable here.
Fooloso4 February 28, 2019 at 13:12 #260129
Reply to S

Thanks but I have no need for your ersatz bear shit.
Jamal February 28, 2019 at 14:39 #260155
Quoting S
No, not that doctor.


Maybe more like Dr Nick Riviera?
S February 28, 2019 at 14:58 #260161
Quoting Fooloso4
Thanks but I have no need for your ersatz bear shit.


That's what all of my patients say. We don't want your medicine, doctor! We don't need it! It's like the opposite of hypochondriasis.
S February 28, 2019 at 15:01 #260162
Quoting jamalrob
Maybe more like Dr Nick Riviera?


Hi everybody!
Sir2u March 01, 2019 at 02:35 #260370
Guy walks into the doctors office and tells him that his leg hurts really bad.
The doctor does a bunch of test and then tells the patient "There is nothing wrong with your leg, it is just its age."
"Dumbass doctor" the guy cries "they are both the same age and only one hurts"