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God will exist at 7:30pm next Friday

S February 24, 2017 at 18:31 12250 views 24 comments
The question of god has troubled philosophy for many generations. It did so last week, does so this week, but will finally be put to rest some time next week.

Some say that God exists. Some say that God did exist, but died and went to hell. Some say that God doesn't exist at all. Others say that God exists, but only a little bit. Still others say that they don't have a scooby. We have even recently heard it mentioned that God [i]will[/I] exist.

But why doesn't someone say that God will exist at 7:30pm next Friday? Makes sense to me. Sure. Why not?

It's new, quirky, and purely speculative. Therefore, it's true. God will exist at precisely 7:30pm next Friday. No sooner, no later.

So, what do you think?

Comments (24)

Buxtebuddha February 24, 2017 at 18:48 #57359
Reply to Sapientia But what about Satan? :s
S February 24, 2017 at 18:51 #57361
Quoting Heister Eggcart
But what about Satan? :s


Hmm. You'll have to wait until some time next month, I think - 9:45am, Wednesday 29th, to be precise.
Chany February 24, 2017 at 21:47 #57387
But what does it mean to exist?
S February 24, 2017 at 22:00 #57393
Quoting Chany
But what does it mean to exist?


In the case of God, it means, for example, that he is able to pop over for a quick cuppa. He couldn't do that if he didn't exist.

My expectation is that he will pop over for a quick cuppa at 7:30pm next Friday. No sooner, no later. He couldn't possibly do so at any other time, because he wouldn't exist. Although it will have to be a [I]very[/I] quick cuppa. But then, he is God after all.
Moliere February 24, 2017 at 22:13 #57395
Quoting Sapientia
Yes and no at the same time and in the same way


Obligatory obfuscation.
Sir2u February 25, 2017 at 00:48 #57442
Quoting Sapientia
It's new, quirky, and purely speculative. Therefore, it's true.


How so?
According to this theory I can say that next week a million dollars will fall from the sky at my feet and it will be true.
S February 25, 2017 at 00:50 #57443
Quoting Sir2u
How so?
According to this theory I can say that next week a million dollars will fall from the sky at my feet and it will be true.


Then what's the problem? You'll be a millionaire! Stop complaining and start planning. What are going to buy? A yacht? A mansion? A sports car?
jorndoe February 25, 2017 at 00:56 #57445
Quoting Sapientia
God will exist at precisely 7:30pm next Friday.


Hang on, what timezone is that?
S February 25, 2017 at 01:00 #57446
Quoting jorndoe
Hang on, what timezone is that?


GMT.
jorndoe February 25, 2017 at 01:09 #57450
Quoting Sapientia
GMT.


(y)
So, 1930 hours GMT, presumably 2017-03-03.
Unless you've tricked us by "next Friday" always being from the present here-now (indexical)?
Just making sure.
S February 25, 2017 at 01:11 #57452
Quoting jorndoe
(y)
So, 1930 hours GMT, presumably 2017-03-03.
Unless you've tricked us by "next Friday" always being from the present here-now (indexical)?
Just making sure.


Yes, 1930 hours GMT (Green Mandrake Time), 2017-03-03.
jorndoe February 25, 2017 at 02:00 #57460
Well, in that case, I'd answer "No".

(And most likely in other cases as well.)
BC February 25, 2017 at 02:15 #57461
Reply to Heister Eggcart First comment out and you're reinventing Milton's plot. If god is coming into existence next week, we may presume that our previous guesses might have been at least a hair off the mark.

On the other hand, Sapientia probably mistook the end of the world for the appearance of god. (It might be hard to tell the difference between the two.)

That is the time the world ends;
This is the world that god upends;
There is the stairs that god descends;
Here are the ashes and sackcloth to rend.
Nils Loc February 25, 2017 at 06:25 #57490
God is coming into existence at 7:30pm next Friday purely to spank Sapientia in front of everyone.

Make time.
S February 25, 2017 at 11:07 #57505
Reply to Nils Loc Damn. And he told me on the phone that he only wanted to pop over for a cuppa. There was no mention from him of spanking.

Yeah, I don't know why he was using the phone, either.
Chany February 25, 2017 at 12:47 #57521
Reply to Sapientia

I guess that nonexistent things can talk now. Oh well!

Also, we should get a site timer that counts down to Friday 7:30pm.
jorndoe February 25, 2017 at 17:21 #57561
Countdown Timer
Hanover February 25, 2017 at 19:15 #57587
And should he pop in and then out of existence as suggested, how will we know? Will he humbly ride into town on a donkey or will he drop from the sky singing "I was born this way."
BC February 25, 2017 at 21:09 #57605
Quoting Hanover
or will he drop from the sky singing "I was born this way."


Will god need a parachute, and what color is it?
Aucellus February 26, 2017 at 06:08 #57714
You should double check your affirmation. The other day, can't remember exactly when, God told me that he was having problems with his phone's calendar. I told him to turn on the auto date/time option, but he said that his phone didn't have internet connection anyway. Then he faded into a state of uncertainty (he loves to do that), so I just finished my cup of tea and went to give a speech about the absurdity of religion, and I almost mistook the direction with the house where I go every week for the cult sessions. I'm sorry for telling you all that, you would never know it otherwise.
S February 26, 2017 at 09:31 #57746
Reply to jorndoe Ooh, awesome! Exciting, isn't it?
S February 26, 2017 at 09:36 #57747
Quoting Hanover
And should he pop in and then out of existence as suggested, how will we know? Will he humbly ride into town on a donkey or will he drop from the sky singing "I was born this way."


I'll ask God for a selfie, and if he agrees, then I'll share it online.
Athena February 26, 2020 at 01:35 #386086
Excuse me, are you speaking of Jesus or some other God?

How will this God manifest? I mean is He going to sit on a thrown like Zeus, or walk in a garden with us? This something out of nothing or how does this work? Is this God going to appear as an angel and then disappear? Will He appear like a human and show us the holes in his hands? How does this work? Maybe we should be looking for a burning bush with a big booming voice?

Can a god be made manifest and be a universal force at the same time? If a god takes physical form will His consciousness change?

Whoops, I am in trouble of this god is a she and I just pissed her off by assuming she is a male.
Sir2u February 26, 2020 at 02:05 #386089
Quoting S
Yes, 1930 hours GMT (Green Mandrake Time), 2017-03-03.


Someone missed the event, and it was not me. :chin: