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Happiness is a choice. Sadness is a choice.

healing-anger November 13, 2020 at 14:04 4300 views 13 comments
I believe in Stoicism and keeping emotions in balance, even in hard times. It's difficult, I have to admit, but I know happiness is a choice. Sadness is a choice too, but I refuse this, I do not consent to sadness. I refuse to copy the character of my enemy.

Is there always a choice between being happy and being sad ?

Comments (13)

Deleted User November 13, 2020 at 15:16 #471329
Reply to healing-anger At what age does it become a choice? How much of you makes the choice?
Pantagruel November 13, 2020 at 15:59 #471337
Quoting healing-anger
Is there always a choice between being happy and being sad ?


That depends on the abilities and habits you cultivate. Ideally, yes. Although I would say, happy and sad so much as having an optimistic or pessimistic perspective. You can be sad without be pessimistic about it.
Jack Cummins November 13, 2020 at 17:41 #471351
Reply to healing-anger
I believe that we have a certain amount of choice about whether to be happy or sad, but not a complete one because we are creatures affected by experience.

When people encounter adverse experiences it is difficult to remain happy because it affects the brain chemistry, often leading to depression which can become serious in some cases, even generating suicidal thoughts. Individuals differ and some people get depressed more easily and it is difficult to know how much is biological and how much is connected to thought processes. It is probably a complex mixture of the two, but each of us has a unique disposition.

However, it is likely that intention plays a critical role too, especially in our own conflict between sadness and happiness. The more we dwell on the negative the more sad we become. It is a feedback loop and probably antidepressants enable people to stop dwelling on the painful thoughts. Of course, in most cases people don't get so sad that it gets to the point where they get so sad that they need medication. Some people are able to maintain happiness amidst the most horrible circumstances.

It is also possible that it is possible to draw towards ourselves certain experiences according to our mindset. Here, I am drawing upon the idea of the law of attraction, as spoken of by Esther and Jeremy Hicks. These writers suggest that the focus of our utmost wishes leads to our the experiences manifest in our lives.

Of course, you come from a Stoic point of view and I have not really done so, but I might do in the future, because I do battle between the extreme of sadness and happiness. Generally, my own experience is that sadness cannot be eliminated entirely because pain has to be acknowledged, but it is possible to avoid caving in to despair, by consciousness choice of aiming for happiness.
Outlander November 13, 2020 at 17:53 #471354
Quoting healing-anger
Is there always a choice between being happy and being sad ?


Perhaps. Many schools of thought. Ignorance is bliss. Life is what you make of it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Jesus saves lol. Take your pick really.
Banno November 13, 2020 at 20:35 #471402
Reply to healing-anger Who gives a fuck about what you believe, apart from you.

Provide evidence, or at least an argument.



Pantagruel November 17, 2020 at 18:43 #472369
Quoting Banno
?healing-anger Who gives a fuck about what you believe, apart from you.

Provide evidence, or at least an argument.


Lots of people care. And a question is just as good as argument. Maybe better; it shows, at least, the desire to have an open mind.
8livesleft November 18, 2020 at 01:14 #472462
Our state is dependent on both the environment as well as how we choose to react with regards to the environment.

We cannot choose what happens to us for the most part but we can indeed choose how to react. It's not an automatic thing or rather, it doesn't have to be an automatic thing where a specific reaction always follows some specific event. There's a process involved and the more aware we are of that process, the more we can dictate how that event would affect us.
unenlightened November 19, 2020 at 20:19 #472968
Quoting healing-anger
Sadness is a choice too, but I refuse this, I do not consent to sadness. I refuse to copy the character of my enemy.


You are missing out, and I am sad about that. To choose to love, to choose to care, is to make oneself vulnerable. In the end to be alive is to be vulnerable and to be invulnerable is to be dead. Therefore, choose life; choose to be vulnerable, choose to be dependent on others for your happiness. Care about people and be sad at the pain and misery in the world.
EllisHeath December 04, 2020 at 00:08 #476733
That's interesting.
Book273 December 04, 2020 at 13:20 #476919
Quoting unenlightened
Therefore, choose life; choose to be vulnerable, choose to be dependent on others for your happiness. Care about people and be sad at the pain and misery in the world.


Alternately, choose life and laugh at the pain and misery in the world. Care about whatever you choose, be dependent on nothing but yourself for happiness, otherwise you are choosing the pseudo-life of a parasite. Enjoy whatever you choose.

turkeyMan December 06, 2020 at 11:12 #477435
turkeyMan December 06, 2020 at 11:27 #477440
[Reply to Banno

thanks Banno. You are correct.
The Questioning Bookworm December 09, 2020 at 15:16 #478484
Reply to healing-anger

I would disagree. It all depends on what constitutes sadness and happiness within this question. Are people with depression and/or anxiety that struggle for no apparent reason sad or are they depressed? These are emotions and emotions generally are instinctual or come from intuition. So, I think these emotions are more complex than being choice-based. For depressed/anxious people, there is most likely a chemical imbalance in their brain that causes them to be sad/depressed or experience highs. There can also be painful/traumatic experiences that can cause sadness out of the blue.

In some cases, yes, we can choose to interpret something differently and this may result in us being happier or sadder than before. But, I believe these emotions cannot be forced or brought on by us bringing them on consciously. They either happen or don't.

If someone dies that we are close to, can we really choose to be happy or sad about their life? Don't those emotions just come on their own (grief and reflection). I just do not understand how one could say there is a choice between the two emotions or either emotion for that matter.