Delusional Thinking

Wheatley March 07, 2020 at 22:59 2200 views 6 comments

Is anyone else trying to get delusions out of their heads? Is there anyone else struggling to control their impulsive thoughts and actions?

There's nothing especially good about, nor especially bad about me. I'm just trying to remain sane when every part of me is drifting into insanity.

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Comments (6)

Shawn March 07, 2020 at 23:57 #389486 0 likes

Call a doctor?

Wheatley March 08, 2020 at 00:37 #389498 0 likes

Quoting Wallows

Call a doctor?

I'm getting all the help I can get. I'm just bitching.

Shawn March 08, 2020 at 00:38 #389499 0 likes

Reply to Wheatley

:clap:

ZhouBoTong March 10, 2020 at 03:41 #390311 0 likes

Quoting Wheatley

There's nothing especially good about, nor especially bad about me. I'm just trying to remain sane when every part of me is drifting into insanity.

I apologize if it seems I am being flippant about real problems, but this is interesting to me...

Is any aspect of "drifting into insanity" fun, novel, interesting, or exciting? The pink floyd lyrics remind me of the lengths I have gone in life to briefly escape "sanity" (in my younger days anyway). Alcohol never seemed to have much affect...I could (can) drink to the point of physical changes (slurring, stumbling, or sleeping), but there is never any sort of mental escape (it does not reduce inhibitions or cause me to act in ways I would not act sober).

So when I did "things" that actually caused me to forget myself (briefly), it was always fun, and after the fact, it was always interesting to consider the huge change in mindset.

I guess where I am going with this is just to ask, is there any aspect of the drift to insanity that is not scary and terrible?

Wheatley March 10, 2020 at 05:43 #390335 0 likes

Quoting ZhouBoTong

I guess where I am going with this is just to ask, is there any aspect of the drift to insanity that is not scary and terrible?

Yes. In some ways I feel more free, like I'm not abiding by societies expectations of how I should behave. I feel like the need to be sane is a way of society keeping us in line so we can be controlled. Society wants everyone to be sane, but sometimes, I think, it is in the interest of the individual to experience some insanity.

I feel like my mind is much more creative now, yet I see the fear in other people wanting me to act "normal".

ZhouBoTong March 12, 2020 at 03:17 #391023 0 likes

Quoting Wheatley

Yes. In some ways I feel more free, like I'm not abiding by societies expectations of how I should behave. I feel like the need to be sane is a way of society keeping us in line so we can be controlled. Society wants everyone to be sane, but sometimes, I think, it is in the interest of the individual to experience some insanity.

Interesting. That is kind of how I have felt, but wasn't sure it applied to un-medicated insanity.

Quoting Wheatley

yet I see the fear in other people wanting me to act "normal".

Hmmm, my experience is often the opposite. I FEEL like a crazy person, but everyone tells me how "normal" I am acting...likely connected to the fact that I have always had a "the thumb that sticks out gets hammered" attitude toward life, which means I have tended to physically conform, even when my brain is having none of it.