Medical Issues
If it is not too personal, I would like to start a thread where we talk about our medical issues (if we have any) and how they affect our lives. I envision this thread to be sensitive and non-judgmental, but also not just a place to rant. So, pretty much, just another "get to know you" thread. I will start:
I have mild Tourette's Syndrome, as well as moderate-to-severe Purely Obsessional OCD. Both have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and I take medication for my OCD.
Tourette's Syndrome was a cause of some embarrassing moments in my past. I don't have the problem of cursing or doing inappropriate things (coprolalia), but I do have involuntary facial motions and spinal twists. I can suppress these tics for a while, but the feeling to do them grows and grows until I explode with a flurry of weird facial tics or short auditory bursts. Today, TS is not so much a problem than it is a minor nuisance (sometimes I get headaches from flexing my facial muscles too much; usually this is induced by anxiety or stress).
I have had Purely Obsessional OCD since I can remember, but never got it diagnosed until a few years back. It is characterized by irrational thought patterns that cause a person anxiety. An obsessional thought will worm its way into my thought process, and I end up doing compulsive behaviors to try to mitigate the anxiety. It is a fear-based disorder. I am uncomfortable with uncertainty. You could probably call me the "ultimate devil's advocate," because no matter what position I take, doubt inevitably creeps in as an irrational, anxiety-ridden thought pattern. This unfortunately leaves me in a state of confusion and fogginess about the topic, as well as a general anxiety that spikes when the thought hits home. I am slowly learning to deal with this, and therapy has helped a lot. I used to post a lot of my obsessional thoughts on forums such as PF, but have now realized that this is a form of compulsion (and probably pisses the hell out of other people), so I am trying to learn to recognize when a thought is irrational and obsessional. This is not an excuse for me to post stupid stuff, but sometimes it is difficult to realize I am compulsing. I understand that this is a very odd and counter-intuitive condition, but that is precisely what is annoying about it.
Also, philosophy in general has actually helped me quite a bit with dealing with the feeling of uncertainty. It's kind of like a therapy, or a training regiment, that helps me deal with uncertainty when my OCD kicks in.
In general, I'm a weird guy, but that's hardly an excuse to get diagnosed for something. :P
So, there's me. I don't expect any replies to this, but if you feel okay with sharing any medical conditions you are dealing with, this is the thread to do it.
I have mild Tourette's Syndrome, as well as moderate-to-severe Purely Obsessional OCD. Both have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and I take medication for my OCD.
Tourette's Syndrome was a cause of some embarrassing moments in my past. I don't have the problem of cursing or doing inappropriate things (coprolalia), but I do have involuntary facial motions and spinal twists. I can suppress these tics for a while, but the feeling to do them grows and grows until I explode with a flurry of weird facial tics or short auditory bursts. Today, TS is not so much a problem than it is a minor nuisance (sometimes I get headaches from flexing my facial muscles too much; usually this is induced by anxiety or stress).
I have had Purely Obsessional OCD since I can remember, but never got it diagnosed until a few years back. It is characterized by irrational thought patterns that cause a person anxiety. An obsessional thought will worm its way into my thought process, and I end up doing compulsive behaviors to try to mitigate the anxiety. It is a fear-based disorder. I am uncomfortable with uncertainty. You could probably call me the "ultimate devil's advocate," because no matter what position I take, doubt inevitably creeps in as an irrational, anxiety-ridden thought pattern. This unfortunately leaves me in a state of confusion and fogginess about the topic, as well as a general anxiety that spikes when the thought hits home. I am slowly learning to deal with this, and therapy has helped a lot. I used to post a lot of my obsessional thoughts on forums such as PF, but have now realized that this is a form of compulsion (and probably pisses the hell out of other people), so I am trying to learn to recognize when a thought is irrational and obsessional. This is not an excuse for me to post stupid stuff, but sometimes it is difficult to realize I am compulsing. I understand that this is a very odd and counter-intuitive condition, but that is precisely what is annoying about it.
Also, philosophy in general has actually helped me quite a bit with dealing with the feeling of uncertainty. It's kind of like a therapy, or a training regiment, that helps me deal with uncertainty when my OCD kicks in.
In general, I'm a weird guy, but that's hardly an excuse to get diagnosed for something. :P
So, there's me. I don't expect any replies to this, but if you feel okay with sharing any medical conditions you are dealing with, this is the thread to do it.
Comments (104)
Broken arm, healing.
Worried about heart attacks now that I'm in my 40s and still eating butter and bacon. Stopped smoking a few weeks ago.
I drink too much and get horribly depressed and ashamed when I'm hungover.
I get extremely dry cracked heels from wearing flipflops all the time.
I've always had tinnitus.
But generally good and, unlike TGW, loving life.
I'm not sure philosophy has made me feel better in any way. If anything I think being exposed to certain kinds of philosophies, like antinatalism, has dented my optimism. I'm quite impressionable. I'm not into philosophy for the self-help though, so that's okay.
I am sorry to hear that you don't hold much vitality for life.
I have experienced withdrawal from medication before and it sucks. Like, panic attack at two in the morning, barely able to breathe, just trying desperately to keep from losing control. Scary stuff, would not recommend.
When did you find out you had epilepsy?
I have to agree with you on philosophy. Philosophy has made me horribly depressed at times, but has also led me to many feelings of eudaimonia (such as when I "get something" and it "clicks") and liberation. A cursory, and thoroughly misinterpreted, introduction to antinatalist philosophy a few years back landed me in the hospital due to obsessional, suicidal thoughts. After that, I started therapy and was diagnosed with OCD. I'm okay for the most part now though.
I have a strange narrative about this, which I don't trust despite its being how I remember things. When I was about 12 years old I had a seizure on the beach. I was temporarily away from my friends so nobody noticed. I woke up basically drunk, and missing large chunks of language--this is just what happens after a seizure--and staggered home with my friend (as it happens the brother of the guy who recently died), who thought I was play-acting, just being silly.
I didn't know this was an epileptic seizure and didn't think anything of it. I was unaware that I had--as now seems likely--lay on the sand convulsing for at least a few seconds. And yet when my physics teacher a couple of years later asked if there was anyone in the class who had epilepsy, I hesitatingly put up my hand. Nothing else had happened since that first episode, and I hadn't told my parents or been to the doctor.
Not long after, I had a seizure in front of my parents and I was diagnosed.
I don't want to say that "I just knew" or any of that mystical crap. Maybe I was just insightful. However I don't remember even knowing what epilepsy was or thinking about it at all.
If it helps at all, I've always treasured this quote (from a forgotten source): pain in life is inevitable, but suffering is optional. It's something that I try to apply to my life on a daily basis.
I remember the day I started getting tics from Tourette's Syndrome. I just had this weird feeling in my eyes, like I needed to roll them back in my head. So I did it, again, and again, and again, until I got one of the worst migraines of my life, culminating in me puking and wishing I could die. I was terrified that this was going to be my life.
Luckily it calmed down after a while (months), during which my tics transitioned into different facial expressions and vocals, so my eyes got a break. It kind of goes in cycles. These days TS is a minor nuisance, but it is still visible if you talk to me for a while in person. I've learned to control and suppress the tics in certain situations like a speech or an interview, but every now and then they become really bad when I'm stressed or anxious. For example, when I am running a 5K, my tics can get bad because I'm stressed. Or when I'm taking a midterm exam. It's weird, and it's hard to explain the feeling. It's almost like my eyebrows (my current tic) feel heavy and are attached to a rubber band that is under tension, pulling them together.
I've not been diagnosed with anything, but there is the thing where I think that I'm a pixied nosed anime girl. My psychiatrist assures me that it's everyone else that's crazy, and I'm great though. Why do they always do that? Damn my irresistible charm!
It's depressing because it conflicts with society's view that life is worth starting.
I have started to view it as a tragicomic happening, and I try to make the most of the life I have.
Regarding you being an anime girl:
If we want to keep discussing this, maybe we ought to make a new thread so this one doesn't become confusing with two different topics.
Question...
Which would be of interest?
My dyslexia I deal with daily that was undiscovered until I was 20 (while in college).
My brain tumor which explained a lot of my 'grouchy behavior' as well as cause me to sleep on average 2 hours and night over 10 years, while still being a full time athlete.
The subsequent drama of the ruptured artery in my head with no one home leading to a loss of 3 liters of blood in about 90 minutes, artificial coma, 4 operations, dramatic audio visual hallucinations, paradox reaction nightmares to anti-depressants for 3 days straight and oh... it nearly killed me. (sports career ending #1... uhh NOT!)
The mega comeback to cycling (one year after two previously mention things) only to have it cut short 2 days before the comeback race. Freak accident on the bike causing me to lose my bursa in the right elbow and my bet with the surgeon, during the surgery, that I can indeed still throw a baseball after the surgery. Oh... and I had a 20 year pause from baseball prior to this surgery too. (sports career ending injury #2... uhh NOT!)
My completely torn Achilles tendon that I walked on for the better part of 2 weeks before anyone discovered that indeed it was completely torn. (sports career ending injury #3... uhh NOT!)
My 70%+ tear of the calf muscle from the Achilles after playing a come back game of baseball, pitching (throwing a lot), but torn not from the game, but while walking to my car in the parking lot... I stepped into a hole) (sports career ending injury #4... uhh NOT!)
My torn meniscus left leg (40% removal), after my comeback from the previously mentioned Achilles issue. (sports career ending injury #5... uhh NOT!)
My fight with degenerative cervical radiculopathy, cause a whole host of problems. (sports career ending injury #6... uhh NOT!)
My mega torn meniscus on the right leg (70%+ removal), surgery about 8 weeks ago, that I played on the whole last season and was told that this is FINALLY it... it's over. (sports career ending injury #7... uhh NOT! ... went to training last Saturday and I can run faster than half the guys and still have game...)
Currently I have an issue with a 'loose body' in my throwing elbow. It's been there for over 4 years now and is finally giving me some pain. Here's the funny bit. It's invisible on the X-ray and Ultrasound, but you can feel it with your fingers. I sort of have a 'metaphysical loose body' inhabiting my elbow and need to get a willing surgeon to serve an eviction notice.
I keep wondering if this will be sports career ending injury #8 or if they have finally given up telling me that?
This might well describe my sports career thus far:
Meow!
GREG
The sort of funny thing about the brain tumor was that I 'figured it out' on my own.
I had to have a good number of 'anti-doping tests' due being a competitive cyclist. (they test more than any other sport, so it sort of figures that they catch people, eh?)
I keep track of my own records and began to make a 'blood pass' before there was such a thing. To do this, you need to have a history of blood tests that cover hormones as well as the usual blood test results.
After having 16 tests done over a 3 year period I noticed that all of my hormones, except for one (prolactin), were all over the chart with no consistency. Unlike most people who I mentioned this too, my thinking was the one factor that stayed more or less steady (consistently on the upper level) must be the problem. After numerous tests and doctors I sort of eliminated everything from a list of possible problems except for 'brain tumor'.
Problem is, this sort of tumor is very hard to diagnose and usually they find it when a patient begins to lose eyesight as it presses and kills the optic nerve.
I had to find a Neurologist who would allow me to get an MRI.
Difficult enough, but in Austria Neurology is connected with psychiatry and most of the Neurologist are also Psychiatrists.
Great!
So here I am a rather stressed person suffering from massive sleep deficiency going to a Neurologist/Psychiatrist ask for an MRI because I think I might have a brain tumor.
It took everything I had to sell the case and not be put into an observation clinic. :-O
Indeed, tumor about the size of a golf ball.
Get this...
... I was so happy to see that result. It was an explanation of what was going on and I knew what the next steps would be. Well... I thought so, as I ended up with nearly every complication possible.
Truth is, every injury and such I've had has been an ordeal that has somehow help me develop into who I am today. When I play baseball and do other activities I can honestly say this is a lot of stuff i really could have lived much better without, but hey... shit happens and I seem to have the ability to deal with this and move on.
If the next things finally kills my sports career, I'll be a bit disappointed, but hey... there is always another rock for me to shove up my own private Mt. Olympus. ;)
As I see it, it's all experiences to fill up a lifetime... the meaning comes after the fact, but that's not everyone's cup of tea.
Meow!
GREG
I like you attitude. Cool story.
I have had two main issues in this life. One is a dental problem. Basically, I cannot eat on my back teeth - they do not touch each other, and there is a very large gap left when I close my mouth. The gap is huge - probably 2+cm - well huge in dentistry terms. It's large enough such that when a dentist sees me, they're like "*gasp* that can't be true, just close your mouth properly" ... and I'm like "Ummm... that's proper!" LOL :p . Some dentists have told me that you don't even see examples like me even in the textbooks lol. Anyway, I tried to fix it for about 8 years with all sorts of orthodontic treatments. They failed. So then, they wanted me to do a jaw surgery which can reposition the mandibula and close the mal-occlusion. I never wanted to, even though literarily all dentists I went to wanted me to. Finally I found a dentist who was willing to look into innovative alternatives. We ended up making ceramic extensions for all those back teeth which needed them. I can eat properly now. It's uncertain whether or not this can be a final solution. But I'm satisfied. I have defied the expectations for over 5 years with them already, never got a single cavity, even though I'm considered to be at a "high risk". Hell, never got a single cavity in my entire life... go figure...
As in how it affected me? Well not that much. Basically for a large part of the time I couldn't eat properly - it hurt to eat, because I had to bring my jaw forward to force the back teeth to touch together, which put a lot of stress on my mandibular joints (ultimately, if it kept going like that, they would wear out, and the pain would apparently become intolerable, or so I'm told lol). Now it doesn't hurt to eat, but I have adapted as well. Knowing my weakness, I tend to eat lots of soft stuff. Very little meat, don't like eating crunchy, hard things, which put a lot of stress on my mandibular joints. If you're at risk like me, you've gotta compensate for that increase of risk, by decreasing the stress applied to your weak part. As for aesthetics... well, none of this is visible. If I hadn't told you, you'd think my teeth were completely normal. When I smile, it seems like everything is normal, you never see the back teeth. Even some of my girlfriends didn't know... I mean can you believe that? Now with the extensions, it's like some cool antiques that I show people like - see? that's what I have in my mouth! And then watch their reactions lol. Day to day, it bothers me exactly 0 nowadays. It's perfect!
The other issue, I've been diagnosed with quite a few psychiatric conditions in the past, in my late teens. Now in my middle twenties, I never go to the psychiatrist - I've ditched them - and my symptoms and conditions are basically non-existent. I was diagnosed with Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Hypochondria, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder along the years. I used to take anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and anxiety medication. I also got addicted to some of them (hell I took medication you were supposed to take for maximum 2 months for 6 months!). Now I never take any. I've stopped, it's been a few years already. How did I do it? Philosophy, mindfulness, sports. But philosophy has probably been the most essential out of the three. I mean, to me, it's normal to be worried about all sorts of absurd things - we are never taught how to think. I mean, when I wasn't a philosopher - I would wonder - why shouldn't I be worried that the sun will not rise tomorrow? I mean that's a possibility no? At least on a logical level? Why shouldn't I be worried that I have cancer? I mean it's possible - there are many young people out there with such life-threatening illnesses. How do I know I am not one of them? These are all meaningless questions for psychiatrists - they are just a symptom. They are also meaningless questions for me now - but that is because I understand what it is for a question to be meaningful, I understand when something is irrational. I know the criteria that can be used to judge these things. "Normal" people don't know the criteria most often. They just accidentally behave in a manner which is rational. So when they see someone behaving otherwise (irrationally) - they can't understand it. Because in truth - they themselves are not rational - they are just faking it out of habit. They are totally incapable to specify more geometrico (pace Spinoza lol) why it is irrational to think these things. Once I understood - I gained my freedom. And anyone can - provided they're willing to work and sweat for their salvation.
Currently, several herniated discs in my cervical spine. As far as I know, I still carry a stent in me from the heart attack I had a few years ago. I'm not sure whether skull fractures go away; I think they do. Anyway, I had three of them and a perforated eardrum and Bells Palsy as a result of a car accident. The odd slow-blinking eye and twisted mouth I had as a result of the palsy went away eventually, spoiling my dream of being a pirate-lawyer with an eye patch and a leering smirk, charming judges and juries. Kidney stone last year. Those hurt like hell, by the way. Mostly old guy stuff outside of the accident.
This might help, as it must be one of the earliest documented cases of your 'affliction':
Meow!
GREG
Also this is my brain.
[IMG]http://i64.tinypic.com/2w720y9.jpg[/IMG]
I actually find it pretty freaky to look at, feels like a large disconnect between the image and me.
Apparently I got PTSD from abuse, which turned into psoriasis, depression and OCD for a while, but I've managed to pull out of most of it with herbals and philosophy.
I wonder if anyone would have guessed(?)
Now in Chicago where my bio Dad lives, was taken to the ER on Saturday because he couldn't move out of bed, which he is in 75% of the time, 100% loss of bladder control, Parkinson's, Manic Depressive at 73 yrs old. After being admitted for Pneumonia he was treated and has now been moved to an Care facility where over the next 2 weeks they will assess if he is in need of a full time home care nurse.
When I talked to him last night he told me had just had breakfast and he was waiting for the procedures to begin. When I pressed further, he could not come up with what procedures and I am panicking. I called his current wife and spoke with her and what she says and what I know to be true, such as coherency, are not matching. He was fine a week ago when I spoke with him at length. I thought Parkinson's was a body tremor issue, not a dementia issue. My Dad's wife said that word "dementia" for the first time associated with Parkinson's.
It matters for all the reasons it would impact anyone's family member but my Dad here in AZ has Parkinson's as well.
My Great Grandmother had early onset Alzheimer's as did my Grand Mother. My Mom (knock on wood) is going to outlive me, I swear because at 72 her brain is as sharp as a Nurses ever could be. So I thought 'dementia' was gone, at least for now in my life. I feel the world around me crumbling and am going to go read Parkinson's and see. :s
Diagnosed two weeks after my second daughter's birth at age 30 (4 years ago) although I had already suffered severe limitations in my motion and frequent loss of balance (and pretty much all the other typical symptoms of MS) as a strong indication that something was wrong. I have adapted to life with MS to be able to work and contribute very minimally in household maintenance and upkeep. My daughters, aged 5 and 3, don't seem to mind my disability and I am as active and present as I can be in both their lives. My wife has decided, for reasons I still cannot fathom, to ride it out with me and I am incredibly grateful for her. Other than that little thing, I'm healthy and relatively happy.
benign enlarged prostate
bone spur on big toe
depression
glaucoma
occasional basal cell skin cancer
Nothing too debilitating, thanks to medication, and much of it a result of being alive long enough to get it.
"Far better to have hemorrhoids than to be one." Socrates
And a wickedly annoying (and occasionally painful) case of sciatica. Did a lot of bicycling, running, and martial arts in the past. Apparently bicycling can, in part, cause this stuff, if you're prone to it already. My bicycle got stolen anyway, so no more of that per se.
My sympathies to you and your better half.
All three are approximately equivalent disasters, with the third having an edge. Though, the first and second could make the third a source of chronic and enduring suffering. Wage war and cut down the trees or not, but coffee above all else.
As for speeches and presentations... severe but short lived anxiety.
Ulcerative Colitis diagnosed at age 13.
Hashimoto Thyroiditis diagnosed at age 19.
Dysthymia diagnosed at age 23.
2nd, 3rd and 4th degree burn covering left hand as a result of a faulty Gel candle, resulting in 30 days of debridement, 6 months to heal.
Opiate addiction on OxyContin for 2.5 yrs as a result of breaking my back in a high speed, high impact, horseback riding accident.
You've kind of been through the mill.
Dasher was my partially broken Thoroughbred and we were going between 20 and 25 mph when we were approaching the fence you can see in the picture (which is a 6 rail fence, the arena we were in was a 4 rail fence) and he took a hard left, throwing me into a hard right, into and through the fencing, bending the rail I landed on into a right angle. Flown out by Life Flight to a Trauma center where it was determined that surgery was not an option and it was left to heal with pain control.
See, horses are always pulling this sort of double-cross -- knowingly and with malice aforethought. The toll of death and injury mounts hideously, yet we consider le cheval such a good friend. If les chiens snuck up and bit their best friends as often as les chevals sneakily consign their riders to the tender mercies of gravity and momentum, we would not call them our best friends.
Le cheval harbors deep resentments about carting us and our stuff from place to place -- something that seems profoundly perverse to them, and they carefully observe opportunities to even the score--which dear devious Dasher duly did, leaving you in traction for months and an opium addict to boot. "SUCCESS!" he neighed.
It is said that if you stare long enough into the eye of a horse you will see the reflection of your soul~
I have loved horses all my life and I still do. I am a horse lover and loved to ride but such as life is, we had to part ways to move on. Dasher needed a daily job so he is up in Northern AZ working for an old cowboy who needed a long distance horse to drive cattle. When he was with me, I rarely asked him to play the 'horsey' roll but when I did, he put on one hell of a show~ God what an amazing animal~ Beautiful soul~ (L)
Whatever I actually have (& I'll spare you all the DSM-is-bogus rant), I definitely struggle with social anxiety, and that anxiety is usually linked to something I guess you could call obsession. At any time, I'm liable to get stuck in some weird thought loop that repeats itself. It's not always obsession with something disturbing (in fact they're usually nonsensical) it's more just that it shuts me in a self-enclosed rhythm which makes it impossible to access the emotional/conversational/social rhythms of the people around me. It's a bummer because I'm often charistmatic, witty etc. and good at making friends, but I never know when I'm gonna zone out like this, so I'm very hesitant to meet people for the second time. When I 'zone out' and there are people around who have met me on a good day, I feel pressure to hide what's happening, which makes me irritated, which makes me view those people as irritating, which makes me feel guilty, which makes me try to hide my irritation and so on and son.
So: I make good impressions, but then avoid. (Or, just as often, make bad impressions and avoid.)
Also, like jamalrob, I drink too much and suffer soul-shattering shame w/ my hangover.
I've had drinking problems ever since I first started drinking alcohol as a teenager: binge drinking and drink-related anxiety in certain situations, and I can definitely relate to feelings of shame and embarrassment afterwards. I reckon it runs in my family. But at least for me these problems only arise in certain social environments, like a night club. I know someone who is what I'd call a full-blown alcoholic, so I'm aware that it could be a lot worse. I've learned ways to control my drinking, but it's still a problem for me.
There are other medical issues that I could share, but I don't feel like doing so. I think I'd rather they remain private.
Pretty much me as well.
Quoting Sapientia
I worry that I'll slip off the edge and become an alcoholic or drug addict to deal with my anxiety. Not a pretty picture.
I cannot tell you how freakin adamant I have to be, about any Opiates to any medical/dental/ER Doctors. Saying I am allergic to Opiates should be enough right? No. I know that at any given time, any pain I will have to endure as a result of an injury or surgery CANNOT be controlled by any Opiates, any sister, brother or cousin of ANY Opiates. Have I said "No" to Opiates strong enough? I HIGHLY doubt it. The medical community knows their go to pain controller and it's my BIGGEST, deepest, darkest, enemy. The medical community got me addicted once and how easily I could fall victim to it again.
My husband, my Indians, my parents and my friends ALL know that I refuse to be exposed to that hell again and have promised me to hold the medical community accountable if I am unable to. Meaning a 24/7 vigil to MAKE sure I am not unknowingly, unwillingly, exposed to Opiates.
No, my only option for pain control is thru cannabis and that is the only pain management I will submit to.
Just when I think I have all my bases covered, along comes this:Kratom
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/kratom-an-addict%e2%80%99s-alternative-is-found-to-be-addictive-itself/ar-BBo8YFe?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=iehp
Which if you read the above link, is available without a prescription, without the addict even knowing. I just Thank God that I am allergic to alcohol because to be confronted with that addiction, everyday, in every bar, many restaurants and almost every celebration on the calendar, would be incredibly hard, almost impossible.
Speaking of oddness...
(From my experience) Cyclists are usually allergic to intelligence.
Perhaps my participation in the Philosophy Forum is meant to be a treatment?
Meow!
GREG
And, for the record, it was extremely difficult for me not to reclaim some malady related to over-developed genitalia or legendary sexual prowess, but because I liked the humility line so much, I went with that.
We are living parallel lives I tell you. My diagnosis was in my 30s, though. It's fully controlled for me, but I do enjoy the more frequent colonoscopies I get to have.
Respect :cheer:
I’ve had tinnitus for many years. It took a few years to get habituated to it, really bugged at first. I’ve found that it can be eliminated by proper diet but I’ve only been able to abstain from all refined sugars, caffeine, and alcohol for only about a year at a time. I suppose that it prevents me from deeply abusing those substances so possibly a positive in that sense.
Low back and neck problems have been an issue since early 20’s and went to a chiropractor religiously for years until I was in a position about 8 years ago where my healthcare insurance wouldn’t cover it. That was the best thing that could have happened, turns out, because I started practicing the McKenzie Method and after about a year I was better than I ever was with chiropractic care. I was even able to surf again. I can surf almost daily now with no back or neck problems. Just about every day starts with my own physical therapy regimen however.
Haven’t had a hemorrhoid flair up in years after I started squatting while poohing. Apparently we’ve evolved doing it squatting and there’s much less resistance or pressure doing it that way.
At one point in my life I developed anxiety disorder with full blown panic attacks. It was so bad at one point that I bought a Smith & Weston high caliber (don’t recall the specific caliber) revolver. But I worked through it, and studying philosophy actually helped, by the way, as well as other studies, and naturally maturing.
• arthritic (gout-afflicted) toes & fingers, all broken from sports and years as a nightclub bouncer while in and out of college
• type 2 diabetes (with neuropathy in both feet) – no longer fit and quite under-weight with a large frame (probably due to sugar-less, red meat-less diet changes and drinking lots of water (or unsweetened teas))
• seasonal (winter) insomnia, probably exacerbated by heavy drug use in the '80s and several years of nocturnal nightclub life
• dysthymia (managed for the last couple of decades by occasional CBT and daily long walks)
• 'functional alcoholism'? (down to 1 day a week drinking – friday happy hour – at most, often weeks at a time completely dry and supplimented by mild vapes / edibles)
• Covid-19, probably a long-hauler (c4 months so far), with chronic fatigue and brain fog and minor respiratory issues ... (NB: Still waiting for US FDA approval of one of the vaccines so I can get the stick without being a Big Pharma guinea pig for downstream side-effects ... yeah, I'm an anti-re: scientifically unapproved-vaxxer!)
The last ailment has negatively affected most of my plans, especially writing projects, more than all of the others combined. And yet, somehow, life remains good – difficult, frustrated, interesting, absurd – for which I am grateful. Philosophy, music and long walks are my holy trinity.
Started 6 years ago and resurrected from the graveyard of TPF.
Designed to 'get to know you'...and for some this kind of sharing of intimate issues leads to a bonding.
This is most valuable, particularly in addressing the role of philosophy in either causing, assessing or coping with health problems across the board.
Quoting darthbarracuda
Reading this moved me so much...thanks for sharing this experience of OCD and how you have dealt with it. That was 6yrs ago - so, hope all is well now.
I think that on a forum such as this, you are not alone. Some are more 'uncomfortable with uncertainty' than others who thrive on not knowing the absolute truth about an issue but are keen to explore all perspectives. As such and until anyone has aligned themselves with any particular way of thinking about the world, any position taken is not written in stone. It should even be possible to play 'the "ultimate devil's advocate," and still have doubt. The problem arises as you say when 'doubt inevitably creeps in as an irrational, anxiety-ridden thought pattern'.
I understand that philosophy itself as a way of pushing and playing with thoughts and ideas can lead to a certain turbulence. Here, at TPF many are willing to share their knowledge, experiences and stories all to the good. I think sometimes it would be be interesting for any 'debaters' to argue FOR the opposing positions, change places as it were...it can all be far too predictable.
Sometimes I wonder if once you get hooked on this forum and get to know people and their thoughts so intimately that it becomes more than a 'community' but an addiction in itself. Once a fascinating thread is started there is a compulsion to either keep reading or replying - no matter what. It can become a battle of egos. Or a never-ending soap opera. Some like it hot :fire:
I am not so addicted that I can't leave - but like many I return - a kind of a mad obsession ? :nerd:
Quoting darthbarracuda
Clearly, plenty are willing to share stuff, up to a point.
Amazing coincidences...
I am tempted to enter the medical story of my life but I won't.
I tend to share as I go in various threads. Not all at once or even in a profile.
I am not alone in being reticent in this area.
Here's something about:
'Why We Don’t Talk About Our Illness and How We Can'
Quoting Contemporary Psychoanalysis in Action
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201211/secrets-and-health-keeping-illness-hidden
Isn't this all about how we cope during life crises; how we view life, illness and death.
How we might be helped by others' insights ?
No wonder I can't stay away...
:sparkle:
Do you stand on the toilet seat and squat? I'm just trying to form a visual.
:flower:
Thanks. Take care :sparkle:
I made a wooden platform that wraps around the bowl at a slight angle and large enough for the feet. It stands about six inches off the ground. And no, I don’t take it with me wherever I go. When I’m away from home you can form a visual of me sporting these…
If I may be so bold as to share what I feel. For the second time a core family offered me Opiates for an injury I sustained three weeks ago. I was stunned and asked them if they realized what they were doing in offering a recovering Opiate addict a supply? Their answer was after 15 years sober that I would know when to say yes or no.
Ownership, I get it but I have been very clear with my tribe to please not tempt me.
Don't leave it on the counter or anything like that, please.
So am I being weak and should be able to accommodate Opiates being around me?
Or am I reinforcing a bold boundary that I know I have failed to be able to self control and the consequences of it?
From what I've read about your life story, I don't think you are being weak at all.
Quite the opposite. You, more than anyone else, know that relapse is always possible.
You show great self-awareness. Also, care and thought for the present and future, based on past experience. You know what awaits if you don't stay away from temptation. You've been there and fought your way through it. Such an achievement :sparkle:
I am not an expert. I believe @Tom Storm has a wealth of experience in this area and will have a more informed response. Other than that, perhaps some family members need to be introduced to a Support Group who might reinforce the message.
Stay strong. Be good to yourself :flower:
Thank you so much for your response :flower:
Good questions, Tiff. I think it is always best not to be hard on yourself. Terms like weakness are not useful and I think it is helpful to know your own limits and boundaries and triggers. That's a good thing and insightful. If you don't want substances around you that's totally legitimate and for many this is at the centre of their recovery. You know better than anyone what it is you need and it's perfectly ok to go about working to make that happen. Just accept that, unfortunately, people around you may not understand or they may be callous on occasions. That's their problem, not yours. Do what you need to do to stay in control. It's worth it.
You are most welcome. I don't know if this is a new 'feature' but gotta love the '22mReplyOptions' in the quote. Where did that come from :smile:
Who needs to look at number of 'likes' to know that someone is knowledgeable and trustworthy ?
Quality response :100:
Tom, Thank you for your time and understanding, you don't realize how valuable your input is on this as it is a very personal struggle but I have to remain strong to my boundaries.
I have never thought of it as being the center of my sobriety just one that is so absolutely toxic that for me it needs to stay away from me and me from it.
Every addiction I have slain, I have done solo and never really believed in any 12 Step program for myself though I understand it's power for others.
A journey indeed :flower:
I think it's how many minutes have passed since you posted and I responded. Maybe?
@Baden
Maybe you can tell us what the '22mReplyOptions' stands for?
No idea. Strange days are upon us.
Vaxxed.
Anyway, I have looked at the thread and see that a lot of people here do have a certain amount of difficulties. It is probably good to have this thread as while philosophy is important we are not disembodied beings, and we need to approach life, and ourselves, holistically.
I'm sorry for interrupting but I was unaware of 180* had Covid-19.
How are you doing my friend?
I was just reading some of this thread today and discovered that you had Covid_19. I hope that you are getting over the long term effects. In spite of the discussion on vaccines and the impact of the impact of lockdown etc, I am not really aware of anyone talking about the experiences of having the virus. This is perhaps a missing area of discussion and people who have actually had it need to have a voice because I believe that it can take a long while for people to recover fully.
Be well and stay safe, Jack. :mask:
I hope you stay well. It is a problem with all the new variants and I would imagine that people will have to keep having further vaccines as the initial ones will wear off. I don't know many people in real life who had the virus. Of course, it is possible to have it and not have symptoms at all. I was surprised that I didn't get it in the beginning because I was still working and had to travel to work on the buses. Strangely, I have got sick far less often during the time of the pandemic. The only thing I have is my eye problem and it just has to be monitored but I may need an operation at some point.
Anyway, I hope that you have a good birthday on the 16th. My anniversary of joining this site a year ago is on the 9th.
Quoting 180 Proof
:mask: ... even though the world has moved on, long covid still has me by the throat:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/feb/28/brain-fog-from-long-covid-has-measurable-impact-study-suggests
It’s probably my suggested cure for everything, but CBD/cannabis products show promise in treating long covid according to this article.
Also, I’d imagine cutting out sugar and white flour (and other acid-forming foods) from the diet, replacing with stevia and whole grains can help with brain fog. Probiotics and fermented foods like kombucha tea and kefir are powerful for healing.
Sorry to hear that. Hope progress in treatment comes about.