What's the "right" way to be?
Mostly a vent and also a way to get advice.
I've read...lots of philosophies, see a lot of videos, and at the end of it all I'm...just lost. I'm not really sure what the right thing to do in the world is anymore because my mind is pulled in all directions. Without anyone to talk to about this (who actually understands it) I'm just left to stew in my imperfect understanding of things and it feels like everything I think or do is wrong.
From mereological nihilism saying there are no objects and it's just matter arranged differently (it's similar to the Buddhist idea that nothing "exists").
This video sounds like that idea too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXW-QjBsruE&t=1s
To wondering about social constructs and whether the things I love are truly real or not. I guess you can file it under nihilism because the lack of objective meaning still bothers me a lot, I never really got over that one.
Solipsism either, that's still left a wound on me and I still struggle with treating things as real today.
That's just a few but there's more (especially Lacanian psychoanalysis challenging what I thought I about desire and sex).
I can't really stop thinking about all this stuff, nor can I ignore it, I don't know why. All I know is I'm kinda short circuited because I don't know how to see or treat other people anymore, let alone myself. I don't know how to live, what's right, what to do, or....anything really...
I'm also running out of places to ask stuff like this on because the problem persists and all I'm left with is the damage from reading this stuff and no real help or way out.
So that's my vent but also asking for help. I just don't know how to process anything I've read, and just trying on my own isn't working out.
I've read...lots of philosophies, see a lot of videos, and at the end of it all I'm...just lost. I'm not really sure what the right thing to do in the world is anymore because my mind is pulled in all directions. Without anyone to talk to about this (who actually understands it) I'm just left to stew in my imperfect understanding of things and it feels like everything I think or do is wrong.
From mereological nihilism saying there are no objects and it's just matter arranged differently (it's similar to the Buddhist idea that nothing "exists").
This video sounds like that idea too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXW-QjBsruE&t=1s
To wondering about social constructs and whether the things I love are truly real or not. I guess you can file it under nihilism because the lack of objective meaning still bothers me a lot, I never really got over that one.
Solipsism either, that's still left a wound on me and I still struggle with treating things as real today.
That's just a few but there's more (especially Lacanian psychoanalysis challenging what I thought I about desire and sex).
I can't really stop thinking about all this stuff, nor can I ignore it, I don't know why. All I know is I'm kinda short circuited because I don't know how to see or treat other people anymore, let alone myself. I don't know how to live, what's right, what to do, or....anything really...
I'm also running out of places to ask stuff like this on because the problem persists and all I'm left with is the damage from reading this stuff and no real help or way out.
So that's my vent but also asking for help. I just don't know how to process anything I've read, and just trying on my own isn't working out.
Comments (36)
You are missing the forest for the trees.
It's hard to enjoy a sunset for the listed reasons.
Just stop doing that; stop reading philosophy looking for an answer and just sit in silence. Enjoy the sunset. Just shut up (internally, I mean). Its not that easy, but it is that simple. Everyone has said similar things to you. I can't see how you continuing down this path is anything but irrational self-destructive.
Sincerely, someone who was clinically, chronically depressed for years and has attempted on their life several times.
But it is the other stuff too because it interferes with me trying to do anything, because it's always wrong.
Like I just recalled something someone else told be about how there are no "levels" to reality, it's just reality. And then something about nonduality. I didn't really get it.
It is, I'm telling you that the things I've read have prevented me from being able to enjoy life because they have "deconstructed" the things I used to love.
Quoting Darkneos
This is rambling, gives me nothing to talk about and doesn't adequately explain anything about your earlier comments. It just tells me you get upset when some people tell you some things.
In any case, this fits squarely with the initial suggestion:
Quoting AmadeusD
It doesn't make any sense to any of us that people saying things to you would send you on this whirlwind upon which you come onto a philosophy forum searching for existential answers.
Please have a review. Don't respond immediately. Sit with it.
Because it questions the things I take for granted like what is real, whether objects exist, whether I am a human being on earth. I cannot move to other things because then I start to doubt those as well along with the truth of them. Like the moral implications when I play a video game that involves war strategy or like with Pokemon and the ethics of it. Or with a sunset like you said, I doubt if there is a sun or any "thing" since it's just made of the same matter and there is no real difference. And if that doesn't bug me then there is the doubt of whether this is real or some simulation.
The same goes with making "Friends", because then questions of the self and it's existence then show up.
In short I cannot do anything else because everything else has been effectively ruined.
Philosophical questions can send you into a tailspin, no doubt. It’s still thinking, though. If you can’t get away from this thinking, try to recognize it as thought. This is commonly done in meditative practices. Have you looked into that?
The need to have questions answered definitively, or for some kind of certainty in life, is common. It can feel groundless without answers. But like fear, worry, or even mild anxiety — it comes and goes, and you can practice making it more manageable. Exercise, good nutrition, proper sleep, fulfilling relationships, and productive work can all help, along with the aforementioned meditation practices. If all else fails, talk to a therapist and perhaps look into medication.
But the crux is that these things don't magically occur in your mind. You need to exercise restraint and care over your mental hygiene. Again, It is not so easy - It took my years to come out of that space. But it is that simple. My recommendation is accepting at least some of what you've been given across your few threads, and sit with it. Essentially, "act as if" you believe it's true and see if you can adjust your mental behaviour in light of it. Truly, many of your conclusions will be irrational and "wrong" in principle if they hurt you.
Everything Mikie said is great advice. I would have probably have left off medication due to anecdote, though lol.
I've tried that but like I mentioned above it just leads to ruining a lot of things I enjoy. Also this isn't really a choice, I cannot stop it. But acting as if it were true has led to harm, but just because it hurts doesn't make it wrong. A lot of the good things in life are either "lies" or illusions.
Quoting Mikie
I've tried meditation but it didn't really help with the thoughts, it also left me not wanting to do anything at all. Totally apathetic.
Well, I would seek out a psychiatrist. I would also recommend reading Irvin Yalom —an “existential psychotherapist” and psychiatrist. He’s a good writer, so it’s not dull. I like his nonfiction books but he does both. He touches on a lot of your issues.
Quoting Darkneos
Like, for example, that statement.
Quoting Darkneos
I'm not sure if you should be in philosophy if this is how you feel. You have to have a grasp on the value of living before you can do philosophy.
I always say, develop some humility so that you're able to recognize life itself, its value.
A neighbor a few houses down waved at me while I was walking. He had in his hands a sealed bottle of wine. Could you help me open this please? His hands were red and swollen so that the fingers no longer bend. He was dying. I took him home to get the bottle opened. Then we walked back to his house. I continued my daily walk. A couple of weeks and I never saw him again anymore. A sister living in his house said good morning to me one morning. I never saw her in my life. But she saw me while peeking through the window, when her brother needed help with a bottle of wine.
I've done psychiatry before but they try to insist it's chemical, they can't actually answer the questions that matter.
As for Yalom, he doesn't actually answer the questions or issues I present but rather dodges them.
Like with Death, that doesn't really make us live more fully. One could just hasten towards their own death or just not live fully, I mean...it's not like you can take any of it with you when you die. Whether you lived fully or not it makes no difference.
Freedom isn't really accurate as that's more a privilege than something humans have as a given. I've learned over time that Freedom to choose is a luxury and most don't have it.
Isolation he doesn't actually have a solution for since he sorta shoots himself in the foot with describing it as a state where no matter how many relations you have you are ultimately alone.
As for meaninglessness, well the same goes for the above. Someone mentioned to me that humans needing meaning in life is the problem and they cannot deal with things not mattering, then I thought how ironic it is to say that like it matters to you. But I digress, meaninglessness isn't solved by making meaning because at that point once you see past that veil, then attempts to make meaning are akin to lying to yourself.
Ironically enough suicide is a solution to all the givens he talks about, that's why Camus said the greatest philosophical problem is that of suicide. Though that's me digressing again.
This pretty much summarizes them and I explained why none of theses are actual solutions to the problem: https://hannahfrankeltherapist.com/blog/2025/2/11/the-four-givens-of-existence-death-freedom-isolation-and-meaninglessness
Life itself has no value, that's what I learned in philosophy. Neither does death for that matter. Plenty of people who do philosophy also see no value in living like Schopenhauer and Emil Ciorian.
Quoting L'éléphant
I don't understand the point of that remark.
You haven’t read Yalom, so you wouldn’t know. To say he dodges the questions because you had AI summarize him tells me you’d prefer that be the case.
So have it your way: there are no answers. Live with it.
I did read him, I summarized it for other people by linking the website. He does dodge the questions and his solutions don't actually work, I know because I've heard the same advice he mentions elsewhere and it never worked for me. But also I recognize that it doesn't really answer the problems he poses, especially isolation since I explained he shot himself in the foot when he defined what isolation was.
It's the same for meaning, something doesn't become meaningful just because you make meaning. That's the trap, once you see meaning was never "real" then even made meaning becomes meaningless.
In fact the isolation one is the worst offender because his solution of "Accepting" your loneliness and that this allows you to form connections with others isn't logically coherent. If you acknowledge that you are fundamentally alone in the world then any sort of connection becomes meaningless because you're not actually connecting with another person. In fact now I'm sorta wishing I didn't read what he said on that because his "solution" doesn't fix the problem, it just highlights how pointless connections are.
I think it's more you don't have a response for criticism of his answers.
You haven’t read him. That’s clear enough. Now denying it, so I’m done with you. I regret offering any advice whatsoever; you’re an insufferable bore. If you feel life is truly devoid of all meaning and is so awful, why go on? Why even post here? Take your adolescent need for certainty and grow up.
I did read him, you can either address what I said about how he doesn't actually answer the problems or you can handwave it away. I'm wondering if you read him because you don't have any actual counterpoints. I gave specifics and you're not so if someone looking in is wondering who read it the answer is obvious.
As for why go on, well...I don't have an answer for that. Foolish hope would be my answer.
There’s no answers and no meaning and that makes everything awful. Carry on.
And yet your "love" is "real" (i.e. ineluctable, indigestible ~C. Rosset). What grounds are there for this peculiar"wondering"?
If 'nothing matters', then it also doesn't matter that 'nothing matters'; ergo, existing is not a means to an end (e.g. "afterlife") but the end in itself ... like a song or a dance or ...
[i]"There must be more than this
It's only in uncertainty
That we're naked and alive"[/i]
~Peter Gabriel
A person can no more lack "objective" meaning than s/he can lack "objective" feeling since meaning, like feeling, is a subject-dependent phenomenon. IMO, what you lack, Darkneos, is lucidity (A. Camus).
You can. This is the propaganda.
You can. There is no possible other option. No one has any control over your mind but you. You can, like with your body, lose discipline and feel as if it's out of your control. That's all. This is reassuring to the mind truly seeking options to ameliorate these things.
I'm weirdly exactly in Mikie's boat here. You're not actually paying attention. So be it.
I don't think you believe that.
Quoting 180 Proof
That doesn't really make much sense. How can I lack lucidity?
It's more like I don't really have options to really change things.
:roll:
That's what I'm asking.
You can only lead a horse to water, my friend. If you don't want to drink, so be it.
I made my counterpoints that no one has refuted.
Again, you can only lead a horse to water. If you wanted a drink, you'd take one.
And yet no one (here) agrees with you.
:up:
no one's made a counterargument, they just try to insist it's a mental issue.
No, it's because I've done that advice before and it doesn't work because it's not a mental health issue.
What is so hard to understand about that?
The problem is the subjects and things I've learned that undermine what I know to be true and what gives life meaning, like the "no self" idea of Buddhism:
https://iai.tv/articles/why-there-is-no-self-a-buddhist-perspective-for-the-west-auid-1044
There's nothing hard to understand about any of this. You are clearly having a difficult time. Whether you wan to call this an illness or not is irrelevant.
You meet hte criteria for a mental illness. You are stuck in mental habits which are detrimental, and in such a way that you refuse literally everything and say:
Quoting Darkneos
Which is patently, utter nonsense and everyone has told you so. You are wrong. Point blank period. Accepting this is the only possible way you can improve your state.
That's why you're still here, still going on and still erroneously claiming hte same tired stuff. You don't want help, you want attention.
Not true.
Quoting AmadeusD
:up:
It's true, look at how I addressed them and how one person just insisted I never read the guy he cited and when I did and showed how he didn't answer the concerns he just handwaved it.
Quoting AmadeusD
No, it's because the questions and things I've read that bug me...still bug me. When I explain what they are, rather than engage with what is being said it's easier to handwave it was mental illness.
Quoting AmadeusD
They don't elaborate on that, that guy who gave me someone to read didn't have any real counterpoints to criticism of the guy, he just insisted I didn't read the man. I want help, not just handwaving things as mental illness.