It's back

Dear All,

It's not characteristic of me to create a thread about...me...but I just wanted to give a shout out to the all the excellent people I know from the previous Philosophy Forum, how lovely it is to see so many people I remember from years ago, and to reintroduce myself to the gang!

The intervening years have felt like a lifetime. What caused me to leave had nothing to do with the previous forum but had everything to do with what was going on in my life. Without further ado, I'll briefly go over some of the events/thoughts/feelings that have kept me away so long:

- I had a job that was so stressful and anxiety-inducing that it was eroding my health. After chugging away for some time I reconnected with an acquaintance who is a contemporary (late 40's) who had suffered a heart attack due to work stress. I decided then that I needed to get out. Material wealth and professional success have never really meant all that much to me- they can in fact eat my shit. Friends, health, my dogs, my husband, family, etc. are what are important to me. I put in my resignation and was greatly flattered by the upper management chain (all the way up to the CIO) begging me to stay with the (law)firm in some capacity- that they would help me find a new position. I am truly grateful and fortunate to now be in a position where I make a solidly upper-middle-class income which does not require me to devote all my life energy to it, nor does it define me as a human being, nor is it the source of my worth (such as it is) to others and the world.

- One of my greatest inspirations and heroes- my great-aunt Barbara Knudson (nee Lagerstedt...we're just slightly Scandinavian) passed. http://www.startribune.com/obituary-u-scholar-barbara-knudson-worked-for-global-change/292530941/

- Much of the past year has been under the shadow of my father's end-of-life care and deteriorating cognitive state. Mom's in better shape but is nearly 80 so this rather unpleasant phase of life where the people who raised me or were around me as a child are disappearing one by one. I know this happens to everyone, there's nothing unique or special about it, but we each have our own personal experience of it and, needless to say, I'm not a fan.

- My own cognitive dissonance and fundamental immaturity about feeling and thinking like I'm in my 20's but in reality am in my late 40's and I have no image in my own head of being a man my age.

- Continuation of my lifelong struggles with depression, exacerbated by life giving me more things to be depressed about (aka, the points above).

- I got married! Actually, something far more momentous happened- my country (the U.S.) ALLOWED me to get married and I took advantage of it. Having the right to get married is just another source of cognitive dissonance- it was something I did not anticipate. We did not jump at marriage immediately as it became available because I have mixed feelings about it as an institution, but our wedding was precipitated by Trump's election. We wanted to add at least a level of security to our lives which once again felt so under attack. So far we've done the whole court house deal but we'll be having a dinner for our extended family in May/June and then a honeymoon in Amsterdam and Vienna later on this year!

- Given so many practical, pragmatic real world concerns I have had little time or desire for philosophical speculation though I found myself reading a little Hilary Putnam recently so perhaps some of the old juices are flowing again.

I have this urge to thank you all because I'm so happy to see so many familiar 'faces'. I'm not sure how much I'll be present here - I'm rather a fickle, moody sort - but I did want to say 'hello' again to those who remember me. I hope you're all doing well :-)