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Amnesis by _db

Baden December 24, 2021 at 23:45 2350 views 34 comments Short Story Competition 2
The human stood before the gods, silently waiting for their judgement. Far above they sat in a semicircular assembly, emanating a soft glow of ethereality. After a moment, the bailiff rose from his seat and swung a club against an enormous bronze gong, signaling the time had come for the verdict. It unfurled a scroll, and its voice boomed.

The court has come to a decision!

The human swallowed, her throat dry.

It is the consensus of the nonad to declare that the defendant, and the kind that she represents, have violated the permissions of existence. They have not merely crossed the threshold, but have far exceeded it. The proper course of action is immediate elimination from existence.

The bailiff paused, allowing the pronouncement to echo across the chamber, gradually growing fainter until it was gone. The human had forgotten to breathe and suddenly inhaled and blinked, the world coming back into focus.

The defendant will be given a final audience, the bailiff resumed. It hit the gong once more.

The human glanced down and furrowed her brow, before raising her eyes to the gods and speaking.

“For what reasons has the court for their decision?” she whispered.

The gods remained motionless, their silver eyes affixed on her position, unblinking. The bailiff turned its head towards the being at the center. It spoke in the same voice.

Your kind is poisonous to the equilibrium of the universe.

The human waited for more, but the being was silent.

“Surely a few bad apples do not spoil the entire batch!” she exclaimed.

An identical voice answered her from the left.

It is far from a few. Regardless, given enough time, every member of the batch will grow rotten. Your mortality limits the opportunity you have to attain that degree of corruption. The decay comes not from without but within. The worm is embedded at the core, from the very beginning.

Another continued from the right.

If one is to eliminate the worm, one must first cut open its host. But the parasite within you is so conjoined that such a surgery is impossible. There is no longer a distinction; you and the parasite are one. No other option is available.

“But there is much good in us! We are not as bad as you think!”

Your naivety is a symptom of a total ignorance of your own nature. The good rises higher than the bad only because it is worth less. You speak of a balance when there is none. The scale has been broken and it is beyond repair.

“Give us another chance, please! We can be better! We will be better!” the human begged.

You will not be, because you cannot be.

“Are children so evil that they deserve to be killed?”

Killing implies an action taken in time, and a memory of your existence possessed by those who remain. We will not kill your kind. We will expunge it from existence. All will return to balance and all will be clean. Like a statue crushed back into clay, there will be no remnants of what you were. You will no longer have happened.

The cosmic immensity of this statement made the human shiver. Suddenly a dreadful thought crept into her mind and she wondered how many times this same situation had happened before.

As if reading her thoughts, one of the gods spoke.

The question is meaningless. Without a reference point, time is empty. There is no again. When something is forgotten, it is not gone. It never was.

She gulped, and pondered the memory of doing so. Already she had forgotten what it sounded like. She fixated on it, as if by sheer will alone she could resuscitate it, but it was lost in the tomb of time, like a wave rejoining the sea.

Time is nothing without a memory of it.

The human squeezed her eyes closed and clenched her jaw. Thoughts raced in her head as she desperately searched for something to say. But there was nothing to be said. The human dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face, mouth agape, moaning.

The court will proceed with the sentence, the bailiff announced, and the god in the center stood and began to speak.

Amnesis is the salvation of the universe.

The other gods rose and began chanting in unison.

Amnesis is the salvation of the universe.

The chamber began to dim and she heard a soft whine that seemed to come from all directions.

Amnesis is the salvation of the universe.

The bailiff struck the gong once more. The whine grew louder, the walls around the human continued to darken. She screamed in an unrestrained eruption of pure terror.

Amnesis is the salvation of the universe.

She was paralyzed in fear, transfixed by the lucidity of her own imminent annihilation. The whine grew to an abominable pitch. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared into the darkness, clutching her soul.

AMNESIS IS THE SALVATION OF THE UNIVERSE.

All at once her fear disappeared and with it the recognition that it had.

Comments (34)

john27 December 25, 2021 at 20:41 ¶ #634859
Wow. Great job. The way you described the intensity of emotion in the human was really good; I sort of felt I could sympathize. Have a suspicion its like going on a really bad rollercoaster.
Amity December 26, 2021 at 17:01 ¶ #635248
Amnesis

Reading this at the same time as watching 'Some Like It Hot'. Totally surreal.
Imagining Marilyn Monroe as the accused, complete with quivering lips and hips no longer swaying.
Standing in judgement before 9 gods; all as one on high. They are absolutely neutralised. Left, centre and right; all the same - an unmoving, unthinking arc. Hardened statues with silvery, staring eyes.

Quoting Baden
Far above they sat in a semicircular assembly, emanating a soft glow of ethereality.

Great description :fire:

Humanity on trial but already judged and found guilty and unworthy.
Here, we have a solitary female figure; taking the fall for the Fall.
Eve begs...

Quoting Baden
“Surely a few bad apples do not spoil the entire batch!” she exclaimed...

It is far from a few. Regardless, given enough time, every member of the batch will grow rotten. Your mortality limits the opportunity you have to attain that degree of corruption. The decay comes not from without but within. The worm is embedded at the core, from the very beginning


Humans are mortal and it is their own fault. They had their chance and Marilyn blew it.
The inner poison can't be cut out; wormectomy not an option. The bad has overwhelmed any good.
A lack of balance upsets the Universe. Whatever you do, don't upset the Universe.
All must be as One.
No colourful, crying cut-outs catered for. Obey or else...

Quoting Baden
Give us another chance, please! We can be better! We will be better!” the human begged.

You will not be, because you cannot be.


Chilling logic of a kind but not kind. Weighed and found wanting.
It's OK though... cos...no killing involved...only 'expunged from existence'. Phew.

Quoting Baden
Like a statue crushed back into clay, there will be no remnants of what you were. You will no longer have happened.


Creation of life from clay. Humans animated from the inanimate by what means...a God ?
I need wiki for memory refreshment:
Quoting Wiki: Creation of Life From Clay
According to Genesis 2:7 "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul".


The Myth. The original sci-fi story written by men for men.
But we were never meant to be stone, perfectly formed statues - were we...?
Perhaps toys to be played with in an RPG.
The source of this short story ?
A naturally unnatural progression of the human race...without spirit.
Something to think about but scary as hell. Hell.
Hell hath no fury. It can't. It's a concept. As is 'Amnesis'. The wiping of memory and life as we know it.

Our worst nightmare. Thanks for that :naughty:

The gods wish to control the Universe. They have desire. And hate. And fear the humanity of humans.
With Great Power comes Responsibility. What kind of balance exists where resistance is futile ?

The robotic chant increases in frequency and sound until...
Quoting Baden
AMNESIS IS THE SALVATION OF THE UNIVERSE.

All at once her fear disappeared and with it the recognition that it had.


Easy, no pain. A chilling end.
But some like it hot...

Marilyn is through with love.
Not so Mr. Osgood, the millionaire, who is on fire for 'Daphne' ( Jerry in disguise as a woman)
Wiki again:

It ends with Jerry listing his reasons why "Daphne" and Osgood cannot marry, ranging from a smoking habit to infertility. Osgood dismisses them all; he loves Daphne and is determined to go through with the marriage.
Exasperated, Jerry removes his wig and snaps, "I'm a man!" Osgood, unfazed, replies: "Well, nobody's perfect."


''Nobody's perfect''.
And that is how it is. Deal with it. Begone dull gods. Be. Gone.

----

A captivating and stirring tale, even if sci-fi ain't my bag :wink:
The stories we tell...to know we are not alone...
Well done, dear author :sparkle:
















praxis December 26, 2021 at 23:55 ¶ #635461
Really good. :starstruck:
Jamal December 27, 2021 at 10:19 ¶ #635702
Reminds me of a certain kind of radium age science fiction, like Olaf Stapledon and some H. G. Wells and (early?) Arthur C. Clarke. Not exactly to my taste—I sometimes find this kind of thing too preachy, too on the nose politically and philosophically, plus there’s a kind of conservatism and misanthropy that I’m not on board with—but it’s very well done here, and genuinely quite terrifying. The author might sympathise with the gods, but he or she doesn’t neglect the feelings of the human.

Good work. I would read more by this author, despite my taste-driven misgivings.

Quoting Amity
Imagining Marilyn Monroe as the accused, complete with quivering lips and hips no longer swaying.


:lol:
Amity December 27, 2021 at 10:52 ¶ #635716
Quoting jamalrob
I sometimes find this kind of thing too preachy, too on the nose politically and philosophically, plus there’s a kind of conservatism and misanthropy that I’m not on board with—but it’s very well done here, and genuinely quite terrifying. The author might sympathise with the gods, but he or she doesn’t neglect the feelings of the human.


Yes. Possibly a bit paternalistic with a hint of misogyny.
Nevertheless, thought-provoking and emotion stirring.
Very well done indeed :sparkle:
Jamal December 27, 2021 at 11:01 ¶ #635717
Quoting Amity
a bit paternalistic with a hint of misogyny


I think that might be unfair. At least, I don't think that was intended. I'm not sure.

The conservatism I see is the notion of "the equilibrium of the universe", i.e., the status quo, which appears to be presented uncritically.
Amity December 27, 2021 at 11:31 ¶ #635721
Quoting jamalrob
I think that might be unfair. At least, I don't think that was intended. I'm not sure.


I agree. However, it's worth considering the character choice; the ensuing emotions and pleas.

There's a tendency in films and stories to make females the victims.
In Scandi-Noir - it might reflect what is happening in reality. Femicide.

Quoting GlobalCitizen: Femicide
Despite efforts to stop gender-based violence over the past four decades, femicide persists globally. Gender-based violence continues to rise during the COVID-19 pandemic as more victims are trapped at home with their abusers during lockdowns. In countries where homicides are decreasing, the number of women being killed is increasing, according to the United Nations.

Here’s everything you need to know about why women around the world still live at risk of femicide.

https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/what-is-femicide-everything-you-need-to-know/

Would this story have worked the same if it had been a male at the centre of attention ?
I doubt it.

Is it more thrilling to see a woman suffer ?







Jamal December 27, 2021 at 11:36 ¶ #635724
Reply to Amity I see what you mean, but I think in this case the choice of a female character just shows, if it shows anything, that the sole representative of humanity can be a woman, thus it goes against misogyny. And are you assuming that the author is a man? (Although I realize, as you probably do, that women can indulge in sexist tropes too)
Amity December 27, 2021 at 11:47 ¶ #635729
Quoting jamalrob
I think in this case the choice of a female character just shows, if it shows anything, that the sole representative of humanity can be a woman, thus it goes against misogyny. And are you assuming that the author is a man? (Although I realize, as you probably, do that women can indulge in sexist tropes too)


Well, of course - a woman can represent humanity but that doesn't mean misogyny can't be present.
Just like Trump can say he's not a racist because he hires a black man/woman.

I don't assume much about an author but you're right.
I admit that some writing feels more female/male.
Even though I know that different perspectives can be written well by either... or more.

I think this genre appeals more to males. I could well be wrong
Does that make me a sexist eejit ? :scream:




Jamal December 27, 2021 at 11:48 ¶ #635730
Quoting Amity
Does that make me a sexist eejit ?


Absolutely :grin:
Amity December 27, 2021 at 11:56 ¶ #635735
Reply to jamalrob
Tempted to do the :razz:
But no, I must remember.
I am an :halo: not a :rage:

What was I saying...where am I...who are you ?

Quoting Baden
AMNESIS IS THE SALVATION OF THE UNIVERSE.




Noble Dust December 27, 2021 at 13:40 ¶ #635756
I enjoyed it. It felt a little one dimensional for me, but I guess it’s a sort of cautionary tale. The writing was great and kept a good pace.
Outlander December 27, 2021 at 14:57 ¶ #635773
Pretty dark, just bearing in mind the nature and topic is going to automatically be "thrilling" depending on your beliefs, it's.. the ending could have been better and less "oh okay then" but I enjoyed reading it, I'm not certain what you would call the "I felt like I was there" factor, immersion perhaps? I'd give it 4/5 at least in that specific quality.

Like why not mention she had a butterfly tattoo (or something majestic like a lion) and then she ended up being turned into said creature instead "living her best life". That'd be nice.
praxis December 27, 2021 at 17:38 ¶ #635822
Quoting jamalrob
The conservatism I see is the notion of "the equilibrium of the universe", i.e., the status quo, which appears to be presented uncritically.


This is quite wrong. Amnesis is the salvation of the universe because it is thus freed from the biased, warped web of recorded memory or history (including all traditions and social hierarchies).
Jamal December 27, 2021 at 17:47 ¶ #635826
Reply to praxis But isn’t that imposed from above by an aristocracy of gods? Those who know best?
praxis December 27, 2021 at 17:48 ¶ #635829
Reply to jamalrob

I think they only represent balance, if that makes sense.
Jamal December 27, 2021 at 17:53 ¶ #635831
Reply to praxis I think it makes sense, yes, but it’s in that imposed balance that I see an instinctive conservatism, whether or not, in-universe, such a balance does away with social hierarchies. If that makes sense. It’s conservatism one step removed, up into the cosmic realm.
180 Proof December 27, 2021 at 19:07 ¶ #635845
Quoting Baden
As if reading her thoughts, one of the gods spoke.

The question is meaningless. Without a reference point, time is empty. There is no again. When something is forgotten, it is not gone. It never was.


I concur! :party:

Btw, good allegory for divine judgment and TPF bannings.
john27 December 27, 2021 at 19:12 ¶ #635849
Quoting jamalrob
but it’s in that imposed balance that I see an instinctive conservatism, whether or not, in-universe, such a balance does away with social hierarchies. If that makes sense. It’s conservatism one step removed, up into the cosmic realm.


Kind of like frances' political policies/religion on not having religion...Think I get it.
praxis December 27, 2021 at 19:51 ¶ #635868
Quoting jamalrob
I think it makes sense, yes, but it’s in that imposed balance that I see an instinctive conservatism, whether or not, in-universe, such a balance does away with social hierarchies. If that makes sense. It’s conservatism one step removed, up into the cosmic realm.


The nature of a story is anamnesic. There’s no way around that. There’s also no way to conceive the universe without imposing some kind of structure. At core, conservatism is about fiercely holding on to the story and structure rather than readily letting it go, which is anamnesic.

The God of tits and wine would be condemned by the nonad just as freely as the Gods who are vicious cunts because the nonad doesn’t care about good & evil or pain and pleasure. Only we care.
Amity December 27, 2021 at 21:12 ¶ #635902
Reply to jamalrob

Quoting Amity
I don't assume much about an author but you're right.


Well. Turns out I do assume quite a bit about an author.

This story lark has been quite the revelation.
Loving it :fire:








Jamal December 27, 2021 at 21:25 ¶ #635907
Quoting Amity
This story lark has been quite the revelation.
Loving it


Yeah, I don't know why I didn't join in last time.
Amity December 27, 2021 at 21:38 ¶ #635913
Quoting jamalrob
I don't know why I didn't join in last time.


You and others' increased input has made all the difference.
Perhaps it's just a case of having more time...and seeing the value ?
Dunno.
But thanks anyway to everybody :100:

Nils Loc December 27, 2021 at 23:34 ¶ #635944
This scenario of judgement before the court is very effective for setting up a quick tension of suspense with dialogue. Great vehicle for a short story. Well written. Easy to read.

The need for a trial at all by the gods/mods of balance which carry the great solution of amnesis is completely unnecessary. The nonad gets off from this theatre. They do not forget. They frighten to feel something. This is a sham trial, like an auto-da-fe.

The nonad needs a taste of their own medicine. Shout back: "Amnesis is the salvation of the nonad."

praxis December 28, 2021 at 00:20 ¶ #635949
The Seven Divine Signs of Imbalance (from Inc.com):

  • 1. You haven't exercised in weeks.2. You are spending more money than usual.3. You struggle to stay Present with people.4. You are eating poorly-or worse, not at all.5. You have dozens of people in your life you haven't called back.6. You haven't taken a vacation, or even a long weekend, in years.7. When people talk about things they enjoy doing, you get defensive.
Paul December 29, 2021 at 01:09 ¶ #636250
I like this one. It's the sort of thing I'd write. But I feel the human should accuse the gods and try to hold them to account for their injustices. And it could use a twist at the end, maybe.
180 Proof December 29, 2021 at 07:52 ¶ #636310
Caldwell January 02, 2022 at 17:45 ¶ #637947
Quoting Baden
All at once her fear disappeared and with it the recognition that it had.

This is a victory on her part, I believe. Conviction to the bitter end. She was fighting to the last moment.
A consolation to the readers.
john27 January 09, 2022 at 10:11 ¶ #640391
Quoting Baden
Amnesis is the salvation of the universe.


In our eradication we save the universe?! Almost flattering, in my opinion. A most noble sacrifice...

praxis January 14, 2022 at 18:13 ¶ #642990
@_db

So are the nonad the ultimate nazi’s of the universe or what?
Nils Loc January 14, 2022 at 19:18 ¶ #643023
Monty Python Spanish Inquisition:Cardinal Ximinez : NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!... Surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Hmf... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surpr... I'll come in again.


praxis January 15, 2022 at 17:34 ¶ #643463
Spill it, @_db, or persuasion techniques may become necessary.

User image
_db January 17, 2022 at 19:58 ¶ #644353
Reply to praxis Apologies, I was busy this weekend.

I had a few of things in mind when writing this piece. One is that logic can be cruel even if it seems irrefutable. The nonad were not supposed to be space Nazis but more like emotionless, amoral beings that seem cruel from the human perspective but are simply doing what they are meant to do (sort of like Lovecraftian deities). I also wanted to explore what it means to be a part of history, what it means if the only thing real is the present moment, and if it is intelligible to say that something happened if there is no record or memory of it happening.

@Amity provided excellent criticism of my story by pointing out elements that could be seen as misogynistic, especially with their comment that it may be more thrilling to see a woman suffer than a man. My conscious intent was to subvert traditional storytelling by having a woman stand as the final representation for humanity (instead of a man), however I may have subconsciously used sexist tropes regardless. Thanks very much @Amity for your perspective, it gave me a lot to think about :up:
Amity January 18, 2022 at 08:29 ¶ #644715
Quoting _db
One is that logic can be cruel even if it seems irrefutable.

The nonad were... emotionless, amoral beings that seem cruel from the human perspective but are simply doing what they are meant to do


Yes, that came through very well:

Quoting Amity
Give us another chance, please! We can be better! We will be better!” the human begged.

You will not be, because you cannot be.
— Baden

Chilling logic of a kind but not kind. Weighed and found wanting.
It's OK though... cos...no killing involved...only 'expunged from existence'. Phew.


Quoting _db
I also wanted to explore what it means to be a part of history, what it means if the only thing real is the present moment, and if it is intelligible to say that something happened if there is no record or memory of it happening.


Ah yes. This has real moment repercussions.
The re-telling of stories as if events hadn't happened or were less horrific than portrayed.
Lies. Fake news. Denial.
The non-telling of history as previously well-documented. The lack of education...knowledge...
The omission of the role of 'lesser' others in science or technology.
We don't have to look far...

Quoting _db
My conscious intent was to subvert traditional storytelling by having a woman stand as the final representation for humanity (instead of a man), however I may have subconsciously used sexist tropes regardless. Thanks very much Amity for your perspective, it gave me a lot to think about


Now I understand! How intriguing is this?
An author's conscious and subconscious in action as they imagine and tell a story.
Logic and reasoning in full awareness combined with attitudes/ instincts of which not fully aware.

This short story competition has helped me examine my own assumptions.
All perspectives from the writers and readers have been so interesting and thought-provoking.

Thanks again :sparkle: